The Nose Hack: Testimony of a Congested Sinus Sufferer

Introduction

Welcome to my first article for Medium.com. If you are reading this, I’ll assume that you are either suffering from nasal congestion yourself or know someone else who is. I think that most people would agree that as afflictions go, nasal congestion sucks! So if you want to skip most of this article and go directly to the remedy presented in its last few paragraphs, as author, I promise not to be offended. Before you go however, it is important to note that I am not a medical doctor and that this article is not presented as medical advice. The information provided here is simply the testimony of a remedy that I stumbled upon that helped me to relieve my own nasal congestion — offered here in the hope that it brings comfort to you and others. Use it at your own risk.

With that said, if you are interested in reading about the background, history, and process of how I stumbled upon this “hack” to relieve stuffy noses read on! You can always come back and read my testimony after your breathing has improved (your mileage may vary).

Good luck.

Why “The Nose Hack?”

“Damnit Jim! I’m an IT Professional, NOT a Doctor!!!”*1

One of the more benign definitions for the word “hack” found in the Merriam Webster online dictionary reads:

hack(n): a usually creatively improvised solution to a computer hardware or programming problem or limitation

As an Information Technology professional of many years, it occurred to me that one might consider most of the over-the-counter medications taken to address the common symptoms related to the various health conditions that people suffer as “hacks”. Following the line of thinking a little further, I imagined the human body as a complex computing machine with pre-programmed behaviors adapted to specific conditions. A former programmer, my next thought naturally was then “How could I hack my nose?” Could I find or devise a better “hack” than the typical nasal decongestant spray found on grocery and pharmaceutical store shelves?

Way of the Spray: The Unholy Alliance

“Sherman, set the Waybac machine to 1974…”*2

I will never forget the day that I met my first bottle of nasal decongestant spray. The year was 1974 and I was one of many congested second graders working diligently to master the skill of long-hand multiplication while trying my best to breathe comfortably through a blocked nose. Unlike my peers however, my parents had armed me with a secret weapon: the miracle of modern science known as the nasal decongestant spray! Kept securely in my pants pocket alongside the gum that I was not allowed to chew in class, my spray bottle stood beside me as a trusted ally in the war against my blocked sinuses…

Whenever I felt the pain, pressure, and congestion of my swollen nasal passages, I called upon and used my decongestant spray liberally. Unfortunately, this “ally” turned out to be much more of a paid mercenary than an actual ally. The more I used the drug, the less effective it became until finally my congestion was significantly worse than when our ill-fated relationship began. At the tender age of seven, I raised a white flag and (once the medication wore off) went back to the undignified practice of blowing my nose, accumulating, and disposing of piles of snot rags along the way…

It was disheartening. After all, hadn’t the creator seen fit to give me two nostrils? It seemed both cruel and frustrating that neither one of them should work for their intended purpose. It would be many years before I mastered the fine art of blowing my nose just below the pressure threshold where one pops their eardrums!

The Epiphany

“All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy…”

In subsequent years, there would be many colds, fevers, chills, rashes, flus and other sicknesses as I progressed from elementary school to middle school, from middle school to high school, and from high school to college. Through it all, my stuffy nose with its blocked nasal passages came along for the ride like luggage or rather herpes (because luggage is actually USEFUL) until I eventually graduated college with my Bachelor’s degree in Computer Science.

Finally! Armed with the hard earned academic achievement, I could safely say that I was STILL every bit as powerless against the tyranny of my swollen sinuses as I was before I got the degree. The years of information that I had spent studying and becoming certified in was of practically no use to me for addressing any of my nasal issues. It would be nearly a quarter century before a chance encounter with a Wikipedia page would yield any hope.

Although they say that “life is short”, in reality it’s actually filled with a lot of idle moments. It was during one of those moments, with a snot rag securely lodged in one nostril (and while contemplating another futile attempt to drug my sinuses into submission) that I asked myself the question “How do nasal decongestants work anyway?” I sat down in front of my computer and pulled up a Wikipedia page about nasal decongestants. (I knew that BS degree was good for something!)

What Wikipedia revealed was that nasal decongestants worked by chemically inducing blood vessels in the nose to constrict resulting in reduced inflammation, swelling, and mucous production. Unfortunately it added that relief is often short lived because the nose’s “computer” works to counter the drug’s effects. Furthermore, when abused by drug overuse, the nose may even overcompensate beyond the ability of the medication to moderate.

This is what stuffy nose sufferers experience as “rebound congestion”.

Upon reading and digesting the information I thought that if I could find a more nasally inoffensive way to constrict the vessels in my nose in a manner similar to the active ingredients found in nasal decongestant sprays, I might be able to enjoy relief without their negative side effects. Without any significant knowledge of chemistry (I hated chemistry in school) or medical training of any kind, I could think of one (and only one) way to accomplish the goal:

COLD. Simple COLD. Simple COLD as in COLDER TEMPERATURES.

As a child, I often introduced cold to my nasal passages by simply playing outside in cold weather. I recalled that no matter how stuffed up my nose was, it always seemed to breathe better outside in the cold air. OBVIOUSLY this wouldn’t work as well for me as an adult, so I decided to employ nasal saline solution as was commonly found in drug stores. It was cheap. It was already formulated for nasal application and it was available in a ready-to-use nose spray applicator bottle. I purchased some at a local drug store and placed it into my refrigerator (NOT the freezer!) to lower its temperature.

A word of WARNING: Because salt water has a lower freezing point than regular water, I was careful not to lower the saline solution’s temperature too much. After all, I was looking to simulate the slightly colder temperatures that a nose might encounter in the cold winter air versus trying to give myself a case of nasal frostbite. Part of our nose’s function is to warm the air that we breathe. I figured that the cooler temperature of a refrigerated beverage (without ice and tens of degrees above freezing) should be ideal as something a nose might know how to handle.

Although bottled or distilled water would probably have worked just as well, the saline solution I selected was readily available and already pre-formulated for nasal use. There was also reason to believe from the occasional use of salt water solutions for dental hygiene that the salt might even have beneficial antiseptic properties.

Conclusion: Moment of Truth

“To try the same thing over and over again and to expect a different result is a definition of insanity”

For years I had relied upon energetic nose blowing and medication to provide relief for my blocked sinuses. With cold and flu season approaching and messy piles of mucous soaked facial tissue in my future, I was eager to confront my next bout of congestion with a new approach. I removed the chilled bottle of saline solution from the refrigerator and prepared for my experiment.

I tipped my head back and sprayed each nostril with the refrigerated liquid until I could taste its salt in the back of my throat. The feeling of cold was startling at first but not painful. Fifteen or so minutes later, to my pleasant surprise, I could finally breathe. The great road block that had been my nose was apparently open for business again! Air comfortably passed through my newly unblocked sinuses and it was wonderful.

Now would I expect this newfound relief to last several hours as typically advertised for nasal decongestant sprays? No. It was only glorified salt water after all. However I knew that I could re-apply this remedy whenever necessary without fear of the rebound congestion I had experienced with medications. It was a small victory but a welcome one that had been a long time in coming. I celebrated it joyfully with each unobstructed breath.

Today, I have drastically reduced my dependence on nasal decongestant sprays and use this remedy whenever it seems reasonable to do so. Although not a substitution for either medical advice or treatment, I hope that all of you find this article to be helpful and that it helps each of you breathe a little easier…

Footnotes:
1 Because anything of value written by an Information Technology Professional must include at least one nerdy Star Trek (tm) reference…
2 Because some archaic esoteric cartoon puns are too irresistible to omit when applicable.